A Ship is Safe at Harbor... But That's Not What Ships are For

Our summer trip was "a consolation... pure relief. The world will give you that once in a while, a brief time-out; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where someone dabs mercy on your beat-up life." We reveled in family this year. We always had someone in our corner... to dab mercy on us. Now Jessi is in Idaho at College, our hearts strung together over miles and miles of dirt and sagebrush. Strung together by memories of laughter and tears, peppered with sarcastic inside jokes. Jessi is the the glue of the family. She has the unique gift of bringing people together. She is the very center of our hearts. She knows just what to say to make us laugh. She has a wit sharp enough to cut through a thick fog of sadness and a kindness spun like fine thread she uses to stitch up a hole in a broken heart. Sitting there among all the parents at orientation looking each other up and down, wondering if through all the years we had given our child enough to measure up... was very unnerving. There is no more time! Nothing else you can do to give them the tools they need to be on their own... time is up. Did you teach her enough? Maybe you should have let her play soccer or forced her to keep up with the trumpet. Will she know how to clean the toilet? Maybe you should have let her eat the cocoa puffs every once in a while despite their adverse effect on her brother Nick. Maybe the girl standing just to your left got more out of family dinners which you hardly ever had. Maybe the one to your right read the whole Bible in one week... Maybe she even memorized a whole chapter! I did get her braces. I had her immunized. I had her eyes checked. I taught her integrity. But... did I kiss her booboo just right? Did I teach her enough about stupid boys? or mean girls? Will someone hurt her? Will she fall in love? Will she find a good man? Time is up! It is now completely up to her how the questions will be answered. Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” I have to remember to breathe. I catch myself thinking of her... holding my breath. I say a little prayer and know that she is in God's hands. He will take care of her... and comfort me. To all the moms out there... kiss all the booboos, squeeze your kids one more time, and be sure to teach them how to clean the toilet.

(Quote from; The Secret Life of Bees... Sue Kidd)